The Suffering Podcast

Episode 115: The Suffering of Cancelations

February 26, 2023 Kevin Donaldson & Mike Failace Season 3 Episode 115
The Suffering Podcast
Episode 115: The Suffering of Cancelations
Show Notes Transcript

After 2 years of The Suffering Podcast, not everything goes as smoothly as we would hope.  There are times where our guests have to cancel. Some for good and just reasons and some for less than honorable motives.  Whether it be an emergency or just plain cold feet there are moments when we have to scramble and come up with a show that day on the fly.  In this Episode we discuss the good and the bad, the weird and the inconsiderate.  We always learn something in the end.

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Kevin Donaldson:

This has gone awry. It's time for the sufferings podcast podcast. You invite a guest over for dinner, to have a lovely evening and a lively discussion. You carefully plan out the menu, making sure that everybody's tastes and needs are met, going over the details to assure that everybody has a good time. And that the night moves along smoothly. The moment arrives, and it's showtime. But your guests are nowhere to be found. Concern creeps into your mind, hoping that everything's okay. And that they're safe. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe there's not. Maybe there's a justification. Or maybe there's not. But all the hard work that was put into this wonderful event goes to waste. I'm Kevin Donaldson here with Mike Felice. And on this episode of the suffering podcast, we talk about the suffering of cancellation. We have a

Mike Failace:

very special guest today

Kevin Donaldson:

ourselves.

Mike Failace:

Oh, no, he's not here. No, it's

Kevin Donaldson:

Casper, the Friendly Ghost. He's sitting right over there. You know, we've we've come across this a couple times. And tonight happened tonight was one of those times. There's many different reasons why it happens. And I think that it will be interesting for us to sit down and talk

Mike Failace:

about it. The first one was because it's no,

Kevin Donaldson:

no, no bat, you go. You're going back.

Mike Failace:

I'm going way back. But

Kevin Donaldson:

you gotta go back further. The first one? I Yeah. The first one was a little bit different.

Mike Failace:

Yeah, the first one was, we'll talk about that. Yeah, well, we'll talk

Kevin Donaldson:

about it. But let's get into our social media question. So it's just Mike and I in here in the studio. And you know, we haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks. It's actually the first you and I episode of the new year. So let's get into our social media question. And that comes from crazy Chaka Chaka is one of my favorite characters.

Mike Failace:

I'm gonna put this one on you first, you won't put it on the always do always come to me first, I'm going to put it on, I thought it's

Kevin Donaldson:

a gentlemanly thing to do. It says what is the most valuable thing in your life? I thought about this one. And I thought about this one. And I have to say the most valuable thing in my life is time. All right. They're not making any more of it. It goes away every second of every day. What happened right now it's gone. And you gotta move forward. Without time. You know, everybody's gonna say it's an easy answer to lay up for a lot of people on my kids, my wife, you know, this, this, this is more, it's always people. But without time, you'll have time for you. None of that matters.

Mike Failace:

You're always setting time for something, you know, I gotta be here four o'clock, I gotta be there for time is always consistent. Because Father, time never stops.

Kevin Donaldson:

But people don't value it. And that's, that's what I think about it. So people don't value it. A little quick story is one year, when I was brand new cop, we didn't make much money then. And I couldn't afford really expensive gifts for everybody. I just gotten together with my wife now. And I still do, but I'm really good with my hands. So I figured I would take my time with yourself with myself, I would take my time and I would make something for everybody, I would take time out of my day. Because time I had money I didn't. And I would make something I made everything from heart shaped boxes, to Christmas ornaments to all these little different things. And they're very personalized. And I really put my heart and soul into it. Unfortunately, people don't value time the same way I do. And actually one of her family members said this to me. And I said, you know, the most valuable thing you can give is time to somebody. And he says, Well, I'd rather just give money because my time is more valuable. Like Well, that was a really shitty thing to say terrible attitude. It was it's an awful attitude, you know, you appreciate things. It's so that that gift that you got from your spouse or your significant other, that's expensive, and you maybe wanted it and you're happy about it. Think about the kid the gift of time that your kids gave you were for your birthday, they actually made you a card. That and and that's why that's why I arrived at that the most valuable thing to me is time. I cherish the time I get to spend with my grandfather, I cherish the time that I spend with my kids. I cherish the time they spend with my wife. So without time, none of that exists.

Mike Failace:

time you spend with me. No, that's

Kevin Donaldson:

that's wasted time. Mike, what do you think?

Mike Failace:

You know, I mean, I'm just going to talk about yours first. I mean, time, time never stops. I say all the time, both. You know, both of us have been very close to seeing time see in the end. So I tell people make the most of every day. Make the most out every day. You don't know everybody says you don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring. You don't know what tonight's gonna bring. You know, so make the most of your time. But to me the most important things in my life is my kids. I mean, there's nothing more to me. Nothing means more to me than my son or my daughter.

Kevin Donaldson:

Think about the time you invested in them. And listen, I'm not trying to be self serving.

Mike Failace:

Exactly, you know, and that's where that's where this meshes. Guilt. The time I spent my kids

Kevin Donaldson:

go into their games go into their game, just a stupid little stuff, picking them up when they hurt their knee,

Mike Failace:

making them both learn to ride bicycles

Kevin Donaldson:

about making them lunch. You know,

Mike Failace:

anything interesting down, eat lunch. I always say, Thank God, I was in good shape back in the day because both of my kids learn to ride a bike. And I ran behind him the whole time they started riding the bike. But yeah, I mean, that's, like I said, to me the most the most valuable thing in my life as my two kids,

Kevin Donaldson:

I try to I, I agree with you, 100% My kids are the world to me, I die every day for my kids, if I had to. I tried to go a step back further and like what facilitates my relationship with my kids? And they're both there's no right or wrong answer here. It's not it's not that that thing. I don't want anybody to think I really don't want anybody think my kids aren't important to me because you know exactly how important they are. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, that's a tough question. Because it's, it's singular to everybody. You know, somebody who just had a near death experience. All right. Well guess what's important to them, their health, or somebody who's lost it, Charlie Sif rally, I talked to him. And the most valuable thing to him is walking because he's having difficulty walk. You only you know, the funny thing is, it's only valuable until when you when you lose it, but we got to change that.

Mike Failace:

Let's take another one of us. What do you think is the most valuable thing to Chantel right now?

Kevin Donaldson:

So our good friend, Chantel, her mother's having some health issues, and Bella dama cigars, go to Bella dama cigars a nice big shout out to her and we we pray for her all the time. Because her mother's having these difficulties, and our mothers are best friend. She's in tears to me on the phone the other day. And you know, at the time of this recording, who knows what's going to happen at the time of the airing day to this and I gotta pray for it. Again, it's that just to have that one more moment. Think about the people you've lost in your life. Absolutely. I just want that one more moment just to sit with them on a bench and talk with them.

Mike Failace:

I said a couple weeks ago, I lost my mother on December 20 2011. Just that one more minute. That one more time to hear her.

Kevin Donaldson:

Maybe that's that one question that you always wanted to ask her but she never got a chance.

Mike Failace:

I'd love to hear her yell at me Walmart. Michael just the air of what Yeah, it's exactly my goal. Michael was just to hear her yell at me one more time.

Kevin Donaldson:

Pull your pants up Michael. Stop punching. So listen crazy Chaka that's a tough one. Thank you so much for sending it. I

Mike Failace:

mean, it's loaded. We can go 1000 different ways with that one actually

Kevin Donaldson:

the suffering of time. That's that's a that's a future another future episode, which we talked about in our frozen Instagram live tonight.

Mike Failace:

Well, you know, I mean, Father, time never stops. But you can predict Mother Nature. If they call it father nature, you'd be able to predict. I'm sorry, ladies. I was just kidding.

Kevin Donaldson:

Before we go any further, let's throw a big shout out to our marquee sponsor, that's Toyota of Hackensack. We don't trust anybody, but we do trust them. So if you're looking for a car, go to Toyota hackensack.com. Let them find you a car. So Mike, we're here in the studio

Mike Failace:

with all our friends with all

Kevin Donaldson:

well, you know, friends is we will throw that term around loosely, friends. But you know, so we're here to talk about the suffering of cancellations. We've come across this several times. And again, that was a nice social media question, because it's all about time. It's all about time. Absolutely. The guests time is important. But guess what our time is important. It's preparation support, right? So we work real hard to produce this show. I mean, think about all the work that we put in there all the phone calls that we make all the preparation all the Andrews time in producing this with a NJ media in studio

Mike Failace:

time, studio time to time is not free, correct? No. We rent the studio. And if we don't get a guest, we're kind of stuck with our thumb opera as for

Kevin Donaldson:

I mean, let's let's walk through the production of one show. Okay, and maybe that'll give people a little idea to when, when we get a cancellation for whatever reason, sometimes it's not their fault. Sometimes they're just careless. The preparation for the

Mike Failace:

show, you know, sometimes there's a holiday that comes up and they didn't realize it'd be down the shore for the holiday. That's another

Kevin Donaldson:

one. That's definitely another one. I just throw some statistics out to you. So I'm posting on social media. At least seven, eight times a week, at least eight times. That's Instagram, Tik Tok Facebook, I don't do a whole lot with LinkedIn, or Twitter, but it does post I do post it there. So all those posts have to be created. And then our shows that we already recorded have to be time stamped. Then clips have to be pulled from them then they have to be worked into social media formats. So that's just on the technological stuff. Andrew. Andrew, on the other hand, has to sit behind the board, switch cameras. You know when you're talking to cameras on you doing that and post production, which we've done on a couple shows becomes very, very challenging. I mean, that's just a window into like a normal week. And then there's production of outlines. And then there's productions openings, and then there's calling guests. And they're scheduling guests. And there's, so there's a lot that goes into this,

Mike Failace:

you know, like you said, even the scheduling, you know, we only record once a week, you know, who's available to say, who's available that day, you know, who can't do it at seven o'clock at night, who can't do it at this time, who can do it at that time, it really turns into a cluster.

Kevin Donaldson:

I mean, we use that shared calendar app for guests. And it's nice, because if you have somebody give them a shout out. Sponsor now it's time Trey, we use time during these time periods. So on timetree, Mike has access to it. I have access to it. Andrew has access to it. So if you have somebody and a Wednesday's open, and like, for instance, if we're not doing a show, we'll put in there no show. But you know that this Wednesday's open schedule done, and I automatically get a notification that says that was scheduled that day. So it's important to have that communication to have that openness. But yeah, there's a lot that goes into it. There's a lot that goes into it. And I

Mike Failace:

say all the time. You run a show, I'm more of the comedic value. You can make your failing more the comedic values of the show, but I know what you go through and like you said, I think you're a little bit of micromanager. But you bust your ass for the show.

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, I told you why. And, and the other

Mike Failace:

thing is, too, we miss a lot of family functions, doing a show.

Kevin Donaldson:

You know it? Well, when

Mike Failace:

because where we're locked into a studio, when we were in your basement, we could fly, we had flexibility. We were you know, we could listen, there's a change,

Kevin Donaldson:

there's a change in that. So having a studio, the average person is going to know that we pay for studio time. And we're not listening. We're not complaining but because we love where we are and we love where we've gone and where we've been.

Mike Failace:

And we'd all love the people that we're working with.

Kevin Donaldson:

But if I'm telling a guest, hey, come down to my basement, they know it's my basement when I'm not paying for studio time, there's no stake in the game for them. So for them to bail out. It's much easier than say, Okay, you're coming into a studio, you have a production we have production costs, all that stuff. So there's a little bit more leverage is the wrong word. But there's a little bit more backing to us, I guess would be the right thing.

Mike Failace:

Yeah, its legitimacy. Legitimate.

Kevin Donaldson:

Okay, that's good word. That's the word legitimacy.

Mike Failace:

We'll write that down. Yeah, I'm gonna write that down right now things we learn that the English legitimacy

Kevin Donaldson:

I'm gonna go to find that one that De Palma. But yeah, it does give us a little bit more legitimacy as far as that goes. But getting you know even this much is getting up here. You got that I got an easier commute. And you you got to travel on route

Mike Failace:

346. Which a nightmare.

Kevin Donaldson:

And we record absolute nightmare. We show up at 630 Do our Instagram lives and then we start recording between seven and 730 depending on what time the guest gets here.

Mike Failace:

I mean, we have this drive to get here but somebody has to walk like three blocks here. I mean, it's gotta be a travesty for any

Kevin Donaldson:

as for a ride home all the time. I always do I always

A. Santiago:

cardio, it's the cardio.

Kevin Donaldson:

So I don't want to hit you get no snow days from studio time.

A. Santiago:

I don't get any snow day. Absolutely any.

Kevin Donaldson:

Mike, you gotta hang on from recorder, I gotta go pick Andrew up and put them on my back and carry him over to snow

Mike Failace:

speaking that we have had people that canceled because of snow days.

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, we had. So you know, let's let's, let's get into some of the reasons before we get into individual things because some of them have been for good reason. Some of them have not tonight was tonight was an it was an unforeseen problem. It was a medical issue. But there's some reasons like there's there are certain people, you have an emergency in your family. And we're family guys. So we understand that. So we understand if you had a death in the family, something popped up. And I'm not talking about something popped up two days prior and you call me 15 minutes before? Like, that's where it starts to get a little hairy.

Mike Failace:

Yeah, we I mean, we've had people bail out on us 15 minutes before.

Kevin Donaldson:

Yes, we have. Yes, we have

Mike Failace:

actually if you think about back in the day when we're in the basement, we did two episodes the one day

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, it was we were recording Kevin Dombroski. You get

Mike Failace:

a text right in the middle of recording the first episode and the second second guest bailed on that

Kevin Donaldson:

could you tell thank God we weren't on camera because my third my my face just got robbed. And I remember turning to you going he just fucking canceled. I was so mad.

Mike Failace:

And I don't want to say it was a big time star. Let's just say it was a well known, well known person

Kevin Donaldson:

was we could say it was a reality star that was a reality. So it's a reality star and that's he's a reality star in his own mind. And you know, I I know I have mutual friends with him. And, you know, something like that. I don't ever think about. I don't ever think I'd let him I'd want him back in. That's my own personal feeling.

Mike Failace:

When I told you I saw him again, another time when I said, you know, Hey, I'm Mike from the suffering podcast. So yeah, you don't have to bail the first time, he said, I'd love to come in and do the podcast again. My number calling when whenever you want to come in, we were gonna open a date for him to come in. But we almost sold ourselves for that one. And we talked about

Kevin Donaldson:

that a lot. We're like, I don't know, if I want, you know, doesn't really meet what we're all about. No, because there wasn't much there. But it would it

Mike Failace:

gave us exposure. And we decided not to do it, because we're not going to sell ourselves.

Kevin Donaldson:

And the guy was about as deep as a mud puddle to listen. So he did what he did to us. And I'm sure he had his reasons. But listen, if he would have told us a couple days before, hey, I'm going down to the shore with my family, and be like, cool, go take care of your family. That's all right, have understand. But 15 minutes before, and he didn't McCoy, you know, my friend call me my go between call me didn't call you texture to it. And that was that was the that that's just inconsiderate of our time. You don't get back to that time thing. Like, why is my time and I took me a long time to learn this. Why is my time not valuable? You know, I have respect for everybody else's time. Why is my time not

Mike Failace:

valuable? Is his time more valuable than your time? Apparently,

Kevin Donaldson:

apparently, you know, thankfully, those days. Again, it's going back, you know, he's going down to a basement and he's doing this stuff. And you know, we try to make our studio as professional looking as possible, but you're still in a basement. But you know, with somebody like him, I take great lengths to make sure people are coming in here. You know, I call, I make sure I give him a call a week ahead of time, making sure because we schedule we're scheduling now almost three months out. And it's easy to forget. So I make sure I keep up you know, I throw out a text editor here and hey, listen, looking forward to your show, just to keep them in the loop and stuff like that. But now that we're in in studio, we have to do things a little bit different. You know, because we pay for studio time. So that's why you and I are here now we can't adapt

A. Santiago:

anymore. No, it's true. They do pay for studio time

Kevin Donaldson:

any overcharges the shit out of

A. Santiago:

something just right there. It's right there.

Kevin Donaldson:

You know what though it was well worth it

Mike Failace:

three blocks way he drives his new Mercedes here three blocks, just because of our studio to

A. Santiago:

deal with walking traffic Mike.

Kevin Donaldson:

So his license plate is suffering one because we paid for suffer, suffer this suffered, suffered this suffered this, you know, but I take those great lengths to to make sure I scan when after I schedule a guest to keep in contact with them to make sure that they're you know, they're up and what's going on as send them links here and there. And so, you know, for the most part out of 115 episodes, this is 115 we've done pretty well. I mean, what do we had? Eight or nine? I mean, think that many did? We will crude oil, you know I'm gonna bust crude oil balls he keeps. You gotta TWICE,

Mike Failace:

TWICE, he cut out twice. And I was still calling you're seeing if he wants to come back.

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, I'd say Bobby, listen. You're welcome. Anytime. But the next time? I don't know.

Mike Failace:

We had we had kridel twice. We had the real reality. stark reality, sir. We had the cop, active cop that didn't want to drive in the snow.

Kevin Donaldson:

How ridiculous. Let's stop on that one. How ridiculous was that? So there's, here's another reason why people cut out. So when you if you don't, it's kind of like buyer's remorse. So when you go out and make a big purchase, and you bring it home, and you're all excited about it, and you get this home, and all of a sudden you realize how much you just spent, you're like, fuck, and you bought it, you bought it. So it's a lot with guest remorse. They'll say they'll say, Yeah, well, they're all into it. You have these great conversations with him. I can't wait for this. I can't wait. And as it gets closer and closer, the communication, and that's when it starts getting further and further away. That's where the gut feeling comes in. The communication starts breaking down. And it's only happened once where this was not the norm. communication breaks down and they start getting second thoughts. Wow, I don't know. I don't know if we'll do this. We've had this conversation

Mike Failace:

though. You know, I'm not getting a good feeling about this guy. haven't talked to him a couple of days. You know, this guy keeps calling me all the time. I know he's coming in, reach out to this guy a couple of times and he hasn't, hasn't reached back. I don't know what's going on for this weekend. You know, I've learned it's happened quite a

Kevin Donaldson:

few times in this podcast. I've learned to trust my gut so much more. Absolutely. And usually, more often than not when my gut doesn't feel something. It's usually true. You know, so that that one guy who's an active cop, it was snowing that day. And he just like, because it's snowing.

Mike Failace:

You call out sick from work because it's snowing. I wish I could do Get your ass up here. I can't.

Kevin Donaldson:

No, you have no excuse not

A. Santiago:

you know there's one time it was I saw the snow today and I was gonna call you guys and say, you know, I'm not sure about

Kevin Donaldson:

that massive snowstorm.

A. Santiago:

Oh man, I had a walk. I was walking through it today. Those three blocks are like three miles.

Mike Failace:

He's got those snow waffle shoes

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, you know, he's in a similar situation to us. He's this is considered a small business. He's got his he's a small business owner Andrew, and it's small person so but if he doesn't show up,

A. Santiago:

Mike, you and I are about the same height Mike for for all the listeners and viewers out there. Please know. Mike and I are about the same height. The only difference is my hair.

Kevin Donaldson:

Mike wears three inch heels though.

Mike Failace:

Different so I'll kick your ass.

Kevin Donaldson:

When we try to line the guests up we do in height order. Alright, we haven't had one in here. No Cooney, Gerry Cooney, who's the only one is taller than you? Because I tried to schedule them that way. You know, but that guy that was very disrespectful thing, especially the way it was done.

Mike Failace:

I don't think we've ever contacted him again, right? No, I'm not interested.

Kevin Donaldson:

I'm not interested. If you don't want more than likely, I'm not going to ostracize you. But if you did, once, more than likely, you're going to do it again. Like Bobby's different. Bobby was in. Bobby did his

Mike Failace:

show. And Bobby's Bobby, he's a friend of the show. Yeah, Bobby's Bobby. So

Kevin Donaldson:

you know, he's in a different category. He

Mike Failace:

had reasons for Belen to Missouri. I mean, he's very heavily involved in his kids sports and everything. And, you know, he's got the two boys and the girl and every one of them is heavily involved in sports. And he coaches all

Kevin Donaldson:

speaking heavy. Bobby's getting heavy. You hear that? Bobby? I just called you heavy.

Mike Failace:

I screwed up Bobby's working. He's getting big. He's working out a lot.

Kevin Donaldson:

He's working a lot. Bob,

Mike Failace:

I got your backpack?

Kevin Donaldson:

Because you see him more than I do. But you know, what do you think some other reasons are? Where guests would cancel obviously, like tonight we were supposed to record someone tonight. And that's that's a given. Like, that's something that's that's You can't avoid? Yeah. You know, it's a medical issues. So

Mike Failace:

I think I think some people are a little skeptical. You know, maybe they haven't watched the show yet. Maybe they haven't seen what we're all about. Like we talked about Benny love before, when Benny came in here. butchy. Benny was a little skeptical of us.

Kevin Donaldson:

You know, he didn't do think that was because of the show or because we were ex cops.

Mike Failace:

Maybe a little both. Yeah, maybe even the name of the show. Suffering, you know, but a lot of people don't want to really talk to ex cops. If, like this man, he was on the other side of that law. I wouldn't turn himself around he's great guy now do to have trust for cups. You know? So I think a lot of skepticism. You know, people don't want to maybe come in here and spill their guts to guys they don't know. Jean Harberger.

Kevin Donaldson:

Jean travelled a long way by car to get here. He

Mike Failace:

traveled a long way. And look at the we've both seen Jean since then. The way he sat here that day, and opened up to us. I know you're skeptical, skeptical about coming in?

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, suffering is a visceral word. But that's, that's purposeful. And it's absolutely Oh, you're coming on the suffering pocket. I don't want to suffer like what are you gonna do weapon with me with chains and shit? No,

Mike Failace:

you don't want a guy like Jean to? That's lifelong suffering. Yeah, you know, he went down to his depth, and he's still coming up, they will never be out of that. That whole suffering. He was pretty much still going through the suffering when he came on, and he's still gonna go through it his whole life. It's how you tell us exactly.

Kevin Donaldson:

But that's what that's how we tried to display to our guests. So, you know, when I when I talk to potential guests, here's how I discuss it. I'd say very simply, everybody suffers. But it's how you overcome adversity. And that's what our show is about. It's how to overcome adversity. It's a very easy sell to people because everybody likes to have that hero story where they overcame some sort of hardship.

Mike Failace:

The old we're not born with silver spoons in our mouths,

Kevin Donaldson:

some people we had in here, some people but you know, and like tonight's episode, the medical reasons. We totally understand emergencies, somebody passes away in your family, you have a medical emergency, you're not feeling when you get sick. Those are all in my mind, and it's how I legitimize it in my mind. That's their legitimate excuses. The ones that aren't legitimate. They are just people who disrespect our time.

Mike Failace:

Exactly. self centered, they don't care about you know, maybe they weren't in it from the beginning. And maybe they didn't really care about it in the beginning. And last minute, they decided, you know, screw up. I'm not gonna go I don't feel like talking. No, it's not like you said medical emergency. We can even say vehicle emergency Sheesh, let's do our breaks down. You know, shit happens.

Kevin Donaldson:

You know, we had that one recently. You know, I spoke to her half an hour before the show we did our Instagram Live. We did the openings. We did everything. And then ghost. Yeah, just goes into this day. Ghost. Yeah, I haven't reached out to her either. But that to me is that's an unforgivable one.

Mike Failace:

And it's disrespectful. Yeah, we had to totally regroup and put another show out that day. I mean, we have to put a show out every week. And we had nothing that day,

Kevin Donaldson:

because this show is much different. Now. If we didn't record a week, you know, the studio is in my house, we can record it anytime we want. Now we have to stay on schedule. Our audience has grown they expect certain things from us, the expectations are higher.

Mike Failace:

So we're at like 6.25 now or something?

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, we're on the race to 10,000 won the race of 10,000. But that's a draw for guests. Absolutely. That's a draw for guests. Okay, we're doing we're doing anywhere from 200,000 to 300,000 a month. And we have you know, we have 6200 subscribers. Well, you know, it's a lot easier to do that and and say, oh, yeah, we're just on audio. So when you schedule the guests

Mike Failace:

just to jump behind the mic wants to come in and talk to us

Kevin Donaldson:

to jerk behind a mic to work your asses off to get where they are still get you know, now there's three now. That was three jerk offs. We had a mic

Mike Failace:

I've liked this two jerks behind a mic one behind the window.

Kevin Donaldson:

I liked this microphone thing. I like this only problem is like when Kathy shows up. Kathy is Andrews wife. And when Kathy shows up up early we got to turn that mic off. Oh, she's gonna beat the shit out of me.

A. Santiago:

They'll start camera was directly on you during that whole thing.

Kevin Donaldson:

He's gonna use that as leverage. That's

Mike Failace:

that's not a live mic right that's a push button. You're gonna have him and Kathy are in there. And it's a live mic. You're not going to hear Shut up Ian. What do you do? What do we have for dinner tonight?

Kevin Donaldson:

I actually got a text before before the show from from Kathy so take it easy. I injury in a rough day. She preps me.

A. Santiago:

I did. I did. It was it was an interesting day was all the snow and

Kevin Donaldson:

snow. We should have canceled on us and made it a trifecta.

A. Santiago:

No, no, I walked through and I knew that you know what I was like? We have we have a show tonight. And the show must go on.

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, we have a new obligation with the show. And it comes to it comes in in form of Andrew. So this studio if we record on Wednesday nights, and we have that time booked with Andrew, we have to be respectful of his time. Absolutely.

Mike Failace:

Because if we're not all goes back to what you said before about time,

Kevin Donaldson:

if we don't record here Well Andrew is not only losing losing money a potential he could get somebody else in here and make and make his living. But so we have a new wrinkle as far as but we're we've always been respectful of people's times.

Mike Failace:

We don't do. Like I said we record at seven o'clock. Andrews time away from his family.

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, yeah. He's a family man. And he's got obligations and children and a wife.

A. Santiago:

I mean, literally beautiful. Loving.

Kevin Donaldson:

She's such a kiss. Yes. Oh. Oh my God. Are you in the doghouse today?

Mike Failace:

Yeah, he must have fucked up. So what'd you do today?

A. Santiago:

Oh, no, you know, I just yeah, that my business partner, my spouse and my wife at the same time knows. You know,

Kevin Donaldson:

you should take you know what you should do. You should take her over to three acres. One of our sponsors that is they got a spa in there. They have a restaurant in there three acres. You know, the one in Jersey City we've been there. Well, no, you haven't been there yet. Claremont Avenue. Claremont Avenue in Jersey City. Go to three acres.com that will give you everything that your wife wants. She can get instead of her doing the esthetician work. She will have it done to her. Do you notice I said esthetician and not she gives facials. Listen, facials

A. Santiago:

are totally can't say that with a straight face.

Kevin Donaldson:

I can't I can't. I can't say because girls will say it all the time. Like I'm going to get a facial like why did you stay home anymore?

Mike Failace:

What the fuck? Did there are certain words that mean different things to men and women?

Kevin Donaldson:

Oh, we could have a whole show like a girl. We'll call her friend my girlfriend. Really? Really? All right,

A. Santiago:

like a gallon time. a gallon. gallon time.

Mike Failace:

Was it like is it girls Valentine?

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah. This is like, drange.

A. Santiago:

I know it's a strange if we're talking about cancellations and things of that nature. But yeah, there's a there's a new thing called a gallon time where the girls just get together and they do stuff.

Mike Failace:

Oh my god. I know a guy whose last names Ballantine. That's like a boy Valentine.

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, you know, I don't go out with Mike and say, Hey, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend

Mike Failace:

friend. Exactly. That will be a Valentine.

Kevin Donaldson:

After we get off topic like that.

Mike Failace:

Would you shut up for a minute? Mike and he takes over the show. So

Kevin Donaldson:

we what if we see these cancellations come in? And you know all the work that's wasted in between there. What do we do? with it,

Mike Failace:

but you know, it's funny to you bring that up. I was actually at dinner with the person who bailed out until honest tonight, he didn't so much bail out. He didn't. There's reasons as reasons for it, but I was at dinner with him. And I text you and you're like, What are we gonna do? So I'm at dinner with this guy. We're texting back and forth with different ideas and trying to come up with, you know, show prep. And I just texted, actually, the first X was cancelled or, or suffering or cancellations that I put up after. And we just ran with that we ran

Kevin Donaldson:

with it. And actually, this this show was produced on the fly. But that's what we do. And we can't so the the wasted time. It's hard, it's a hard way to look at it. Yes, you can see all the work that's put into the production of an episode. But it's really not wasted time, because we've become very adept at producing shows on a fly on the fly. Very, very adapted. For everybody out there. If they think this show was totally off the cuff, you're fooling yourself, no show is totally off the cuff.

Mike Failace:

We do have a set plan of how we're going to go about

Kevin Donaldson:

it. But if this is all we talk about, that's going to be a shit show. Gonna be boring, it's going to be a bad bad show.

Mike Failace:

We don't like like I said, I was on the SWAT team back in a day. And we had we had a lot we have a couple routes, there's one, leave the plan in the van. Because you have this whole plan, when you come up in a van, you're gonna go in, you're gonna break in, you're gonna go this way, you're gonna go that way, you're gonna get us a certain shit hits the fan, everybody's running all over the place. And the other the other thing was improvise, adapt and overcome. You got to improve, you got to see what you're going up to you improvise, you got to adapt to what's happening. And you got to overcome that situation. And that's really what this is all about.

Kevin Donaldson:

You guys got to stop watching Heartbreak Ridge, improvise, adapt and overcome.

Mike Failace:

Like I said, that's, that's a swats thing. But you have to

Kevin Donaldson:

learn things from your cancellations. You know, that's all it's what this is about. You take these these bad beats in life, and you learn from them.

Mike Failace:

But you know, we've been going through cancellations our whole life. You think about it, when your kid your parents are gonna say, oh, you know, we're gonna go down a short tomorrow, we're gonna go to Aunt Betty's house or something like that. All of a sudden comes up. And it plans are canceled. What do you do? What do you do now? Right. So we've been going through it our whole life,

Kevin Donaldson:

I guess I guess the life preparation for cancellations. It's It's okay. So we were not going down the short this week everybody's off. Let's figure out what we're going to do. You

Mike Failace:

kids, we're going on a short tomorrow, you wake up the next day, and it's raining. 90 not going on the shore. Now you got to figure out what to get to figure out what to do.

Kevin Donaldson:

And you just got to figure it out. Yeah, because there's two ways you can go you can you can pull back and say, you know, we're done for today. Or you can keep moving forward. And that's kind of what we do.

Mike Failace:

You could sit on the couch or like Al Bundy would have beer in your hand and hand down your pants. To me, which is always good, but it's not productive.

Kevin Donaldson:

No, no, but not when you're paying for studio time. How is a modern day sage? I learned a lot of stuff from our budget. Like

Mike Failace:

I said, I mean, you got to make do with what you got, you know, how

Kevin Donaldson:

do we avoid this? Like, if you if you came up with an idea of how to avoid a guest cancellation? Do you think there's any way to do it because anywhere

Mike Failace:

you listen, you you could run your own life, you can't run someone else's life.

Kevin Donaldson:

I try to put play things in place. And I've said this many times when when my original host as co host was canceled on me I got caught my pants on like the two two episodes or three episodes. I got caught but it was the day. Again you talk about the major cancellation. It was the day before we were going to record and I really wanted to do this. So I got caught with my pants

Mike Failace:

down. There was an episode nine one No, no episode nine,

Kevin Donaldson:

episode nine hashtag episode nine. But I gotta call my pants down and I swore in that moment. Never happened, that would never happen again. So there's always something in the bank. There's always a way to adapt

Mike Failace:

after he bends out and you just have to show next week. Yes, I

Kevin Donaldson:

did. This, uh, did I you know what I did. That was the that was the one I went in and told told my shooting story. And I went in there by myself and something like golf. I had, like, um, I remember exactly where it was. I was sitting on a spin bike. I was doing my morning exercises. And I get the phone call as I'm on the spin bike and my wife's downstairs. I'm like this motherfucker just can't. Because I had a feeling it was happening anyway. But I didn't think you'd do it the day before we recorded like this motherfucker just cancelled. And we were we were bringing our wives in. We're gonna be suffering a marriage. And it was I can still remember the opening to that episode. It was there's the engagement ring, the wetter wedding ring and the suffering. That was my opening line.

Mike Failace:

And that's how you got suffering podcast. This isn't the the engagement ring podcast, not the wetter wedding ring pot.

Kevin Donaldson:

This is the software ring podcast

Mike Failace:

because both of us went through all three phases of notes.

Kevin Donaldson:

So now Now I always I always prep for what if this happens what if this happens? And I pray it doesn't happen? But I am always somewhat ready.

Mike Failace:

Listen tonight. Both of us were looking forward to tonight. And I had no clue whatsoever. It was like, we didn't get didn't even have an inkling that it was even the only thing I thought maybe it was gonna snow today.

Kevin Donaldson:

Right? Well, I saw the weather. I'm like, fuck snow. But Mike's got to GPB alright,

Mike Failace:

I was gonna have to pick them up and bring them up here. You know, but that's the only thing I thought about once I started really didn't know. Oh my god, we're good to go.

Kevin Donaldson:

Should we give him an idea who was coming in tonight? Absolutely. Because he's going to come back one day. Yeah,

Mike Failace:

I know. He'll definitely come back.

Kevin Donaldson:

So it was Mike's father. And it was somebody we we had a brief glimpse of his shining light on camera at grand solar grandslam. And he stole that show. He really did. He really stole that show. He was so natural. And so

Mike Failace:

it just like I said, he just comes off as naturally comes out as real. You know, I

Kevin Donaldson:

was waiting for him to pick his nose because I know so many guys like him, my my whole life. And they're just, they're real. And you know, you think about the stuff it was going to be called the suffering of a father. And your brother was going to be in there. And unfortunately, it didn't work out. But that's an episode where it's not wasted time. It's it wasn't right tonight. So it's gonna be for another time. But it was a medical emergency. Again, it's I hate to say this, but it's a forgivable offense.

Mike Failace:

It really is. I mean, you know, it wasn't a medical emergency. My father. No, no, my father, my father did have a cough. And every time he talked, he cough right after,

Kevin Donaldson:

but the other person coming in was pivotal. Yeah, yeah. So it didn't work. But it will work in the future.

Mike Failace:

And so my father said that, that the other person canceled. So he said, you know, and I got this coffee said, why don't we? Why don't reschedule. But I had gone to meet my father for dinner at four o'clock. I get the text from the other person at 402. My father shows up about 405. So I found that a 402. The other guy couldn't make it. I find out 405 My father doesn't feel he doesn't feel well. And he doesn't want to do it. Now it's Yeah, but at least I get to have dinner with my father today.

Kevin Donaldson:

We we've come across that before. I mean, we sat in in the prep and production room back there. And we've come up with an episode. Okay, what are we going to do? And that was when Andrew can answer and yeah, Andrew came in here. And there was the other time where the woman from New York Do you remember that one? It was like a half hour before the show. And there was some domestic issue. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember that one? That one? And listen to it. I don't know. That's, she said it was a domestic issue. I'm not 100% Sure. I'm not I'm not calling anybody a liar. But hopefully one day we'll we'll get her back in here because she does have a really, really good story.

Mike Failace:

But you know, it's funny. What's what's one of the first names I brought up to the call.

Kevin Donaldson:

Eau de Palma. De Palma. De Palma is like our go to guy.

Mike Failace:

What are you going to talk about the Palma but I don't know the weather?

Kevin Donaldson:

Does it matter? So but again, that's that's part of not not getting caught with your pants down. You know, you get somebody like Mike De Palma in here, you know, he's going to produce Oh, yeah, without doubt, you know, sit on

Mike Failace:

crude oil is the same way to Yeah, he's going to produce, you know, we could have called kridel today. But like I said, I

Kevin Donaldson:

don't feel like talking about that type of stuff he likes to talk about. Keep goes off the rails. Oh, listen, one of my best friends in the world. So, you know, there are some benefits to people canceling out. things when we get to sit here and talk to each other here. There are some benefits. We've done these shows in these shows between you and I have traditionally done pretty well, we don't

Mike Failace:

we talk almost none as much as we're used to. I mean, we talk five, six times a day, right? You know, just to get each other to read each other's brains. Now we know each other's brains, we really don't have to talk

Kevin Donaldson:

me out of your brain, man. Just get me out of it.

Mike Failace:

It's good to sit down and talk to each other because we got

Kevin Donaldson:

to unload. Like we have to download our thoughts without somebody sitting over here because we when a guest comes in here, we try to be ultra respect to be respectful to them. And we try to highlight them. We're not talking about the stuff the minutia that we really get into with the show, but the benefit for me, now you take the reality star, okay. Now I know. Now I know what to look for. I think he was our first case the first Bella. So first baileigh. So now I know. Now I know, okay, this let's look for these signs, these signs in these signs.

Mike Failace:

Again, he didn't. He didn't call we're talking about that. Didn't call, you know, no contact leading up to the show. Then the data show was just

Kevin Donaldson:

and I was literally talking to him every day and a half two days. I was talking to him a lot. I went to go see him.

Mike Failace:

Like we didn't have those conversations go.

Kevin Donaldson:

It's like talking to this table. like talking to say this what do you think? Yeah. Yeah,

Mike Failace:

you want to know it's funny. When you told me we're getting him in. I just gotten I just Got my neck surgery, and I was in the hospital with pneumonia. You call me you're like it gets weaker. Tell me who it is to send me his number. I'd love to talk to the guy and introduce myself. So I called him up and I tell him the eight is Mike from suffering buggers are like, Oh, I hear you're coming on. Yeah. It's gonna be real nice to meet you.

Kevin Donaldson:

So easy. A caveman could do it. But yeah, that was an episode. That's, again, it's always being put in the right place at the right time. We both had conversations about this, like, I don't know where we're kind of whoring ourselves out here. And then when he cancelled out, although I was pissed about the way it was canceled out, we both went.

Mike Failace:

It was a sigh of relief. Yeah,

Kevin Donaldson:

I know. We

Mike Failace:

were it didn't really meet our agenda. It wasn't. That would have been really just for us to get some promotion. And we don't need that anymore. No, we're beyond that. In the beginning. We could use it.

Kevin Donaldson:

We couldn't use it. But, you know, we did what he possibly could have done for us on our own, which makes it a little bit more satisfying.

Mike Failace:

That's the suffering. Yeah. If it was given to if we got it from if we got the notoriety from that episode. Did we really earn it? That would have been probably 100 episodes ago. Oh, 75 episodes ago, it was

Kevin Donaldson:

probably 80 or 90 episodes ago. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and there's been some guests along the way where I thought they were going to cancel out. And I'll give one out right away. It was my dad. Yeah, my dad, I thought my dad was going to cancel out and like, I don't know, I just don't get a good feeling about this. Sure enough, he showed up. You know, he, he showed up. John Lee, John elite. John. John will remember how that happened. So John called us up. He told us he do the show. He goes in, he calls us up. Hey, I'm in New York, you want to do the show? All right. Let's do it. And I took off for work that day. And I we did that show at about three o'clock in the afternoon. kicked my wife out of her gym studio. I said, you're going the Oh, don't worry about it. This guy's he's got some bodies under a medieval era.

Mike Failace:

Doesn't a lot of people. I thought it would have canceled.

Kevin Donaldson:

Yeah, and thankfully we haven't. You know, we got a we got a real good crew. And I think part of that has become because we've gotten better at vetting. People not vetting their stories, but vetting them their field filling

Mike Failace:

them out. Yeah. You know, filling them out and getting getting a feel for what they're all about. And we don't vet stories. No, but we've had people we've had people, you know, listen, as former cops, we could read people, you know, you get a good feeling me. We've said it before. good feeling about this person. Yeah. We've I don't want to say turn down people. But we haven't had people on that we just didn't have a good feeling about

Kevin Donaldson:

or they you know, they don't fit the mold. Exactly. You know, instead of grabbing anything, we just got to make sure that they're right for,

Mike Failace:

we're not going to pull someone on just for content.

Kevin Donaldson:

No, I don't think that we need I don't think we need to anymore. Like I

Mike Failace:

said it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit our mold. It's not. It's really not worth it. I'd rather like you said, we talked tonight, I'd rather talk to you than talk to someone who doesn't. I'm not going to grab the local, you know, vendor out on the street and say, Hey, you want to come and talk to us.

Kevin Donaldson:

And then there are some guests that I wish to cancel. There are some that I wish would have canceled. Now you know what, I'm grateful for all our guests. I shouldn't say that. But there are there are more professional people sitting on the other side of the microphone. And it's not experienced because I've seen people come in here and this is their first show that they did, they've done and they knock it out of the park, your father, prime example. trolleys and frilly Charlie. So for our first, this was one of

Mike Failace:

the first podcasts

Kevin Donaldson:

the first

Mike Failace:

and when he came in the second time. We pulled up the pictures of him the first time the second time and he just became like a totally different person

Kevin Donaldson:

sitting taller. You know, he's a very well dressed man. And now

Mike Failace:

he goes out and tells the story constantly, and he's gonna

Kevin Donaldson:

wait till he recovers from what he's doing now and he's got a hell of a story to tell now. Okay. And he's got more to tell. You know, we are coming to the end of this thing.

Mike Failace:

We you know, one thing I want to bring up in law enforcement, good cancellations. Scheduled for road job the next day, right? And it rains. Oh, yeah. You get four hours. Cancellation. Oh,

Kevin Donaldson:

that's a good. That's a good one.

Mike Failace:

We're canceling. We're giving you four hours to get to call. We've had a call. That's a great cancellation.

Kevin Donaldson:

Well, we get to do shows like this. And I do. I do love doing shows like this.

Mike Failace:

It's fun because it I don't want to call intimate because that's, Ballantine. Thanks, Joe.

A. Santiago:

Yes, you're welcome.

Kevin Donaldson:

Thank you for burning that one into my head.

A. Santiago:

Yeah, no good. Goes right up there with one of those new words like, awkward,

Kevin Donaldson:

awkward, awkward. That will forever be in there. Thank you, Mike Turner. Thank you, Mike. Tara.

Mike Failace:

And that's it. Listen, I know it's our cancellation. But that that's one of the great things about this podcast. The people we have met, oh my gosh, you know, I, and it doesn't matter who you are, how high you are in the pecking order, you know, like you said, you know, Mike Turner was a national TV he's a he's a reality star. We'd Kim D realities are just like friends. I told you a couple of weeks ago in a restaurant that I hang out with hang out in, Kim D came walking in, you know, cuz she knows people that are hanging out there. She walked right past everybody came up and gave me a hug.

Kevin Donaldson:

I just talked to her today. It's funny, you bring her up. I just talked to her today. And I haven't talked to her in a while. But yeah, she's got her fashion show. It's it's actually by the time this airs, it's gonna be over on February 8. She does, you know, our posh fashion shows. Listen, like we're coming to the end of this thing here. And we've we've had numerous cancellations. What do you think it's taught you

Mike Failace:

improvise, adapt and overcome, we got to get through it. You know, when you're, when you're in law enforcement, and something doesn't go your way. You have to make it go your way. You have to get to the end of it. You gotta get to the end of your shift, you know, we have content we have to put out. If something stuck, if something is in our way, in law enforcement, you can't quit, you quit, you die.

Kevin Donaldson:

And if we do the same thing here, we don't put out a show people are going to wonder what the hell and they forget their real short memories.

Mike Failace:

Oh, without doubt, without the you know, we don't come out with content in one week, they may find another hook onto another show who've gone to another show and never never see us again.

Kevin Donaldson:

But you know, our mission is also to not only just put out content, I know enough people to just throw out content. We try to put out good content. Yeah, we tried to

Mike Failace:

we're not putting out fluff stuff, just to put it out. You know, what do you think cancellation has taught you?

Kevin Donaldson:

Hmm, so I think it's made me a better podcaster I think it's, you know, if if you went into a podcast studio, and you knocked it out of the park every single time, it might lose its luster. It might not be as fun as it once was. And you certainly wouldn't be getting better in doing it.

Mike Failace:

Once you hit a top level, you kind of stay at top level. Maybe when you're down, you keep trying to reach that top level. You know, I'm saying so we we try to put out better content every week.

Kevin Donaldson:

In a lot of ways when we first started it was I'm not saying it's not fun now, because there's just a whole bunch of different adventures now. But when we first started out and we were hungry, and we we wanted this and we were moving. I do miss those times.

Mike Failace:

I wish we had video back then too. Yeah, that we see the difference. We used to just sit there like this. Yeah, back. You know, now you get more comfortable in your surroundings. And you know

Kevin Donaldson:

what I miss about that? wear my glasses during the show? You know, I miss Mandy? Yeah, figures.

Mike Failace:

That's, you know, that's one thing I miss about the basement is Mandy,

Kevin Donaldson:

and you gotta you gotta come by and see her you got to see the boys too. Because, but you know, as much as I love our studio, I love what Andrew has provided for us. I love NJ media. I love the new setup. I love all this stuff. Because it's a whole new realm. It's just totally different from where we started. But now, we almost have to search for things to be hungry for. And, you know, I'll never, I'll never go back to the way to it. We can't go backwards,

Mike Failace:

or we're never gonna settle. No, we're never gonna settle. We're just going to keep moving forward and keep pushing forward. And, you know, I mean, thank God, we have a good working relationship. I mean, we do argue like any, any family, any married couple does, yeah, you know, we do have our differences at times. But I think what we have is working, and moving going. And Andrew is just another piece of our puzzle now. Right? You know, and we're just going to put more content out there and just try to get bigger and better guests not saying that our old guests aren't big and big and better, but I think it's gonna be

Kevin Donaldson:

well now we're providing something extra with with our Patreon. So our Patreon is given that stuff that we don't air, you know, stuff that's left on the cutting room floor. You know, Andrew, actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna, here's what how I'm gonna force you to do it. And this is what cancellations have done to me forces me to have you do this stuff. So one of the segments and I want everybody to chime in on this one. One of the segments that we're talking about doing on Patreon for our Patreon is only is Mike's army. Just a little segment with Mike, talking to the talking to the guests taking questions from the guests. And it's going to be on you. I want to say it, because I think it's going to be real good.

Mike Failace:

I'm all about it. I'm all about listen, I'm all about moving this thing forward and you know Have

Kevin Donaldson:

you gonna be able to see my Andrew recorded my read today? My pre show read one shot. Really? Yeah, one shot. I actually said to the camera afterwards I said, Yep, sorry you didn't get to see me mess up on that one.

Mike Failace:

Andrew, we're talking about blooper reels, right? You you'll still have all his bloopers from his pre show rates.

Kevin Donaldson:

No, he wiped the disk.

A. Santiago:

I mean, technically speaking. I was to get technical. I do have all the intros. Technically not the reads I have all the starts of all okay.

Kevin Donaldson:

Oh, yeah, but some of the stuff you can't air I would

A. Santiago:

I would never air anything without being reviewed. But there are a lot of funny. Funny outtakes.

Kevin Donaldson:

I want you to get Mike as he's walking in here in his in his Wagan his dress will see that people see how you really are.

Mike Failace:

Or the time when I had the Trump wig

Kevin Donaldson:

so listen, that's gonna

Mike Failace:

wrap it up. So much fun. But listen, hashtag Mike's army reads whatever you want to do. I'm all about I

Kevin Donaldson:

think, I think it's a nice little prominent, because we really want to we will really want to provide some extra content stuff that we wouldn't put out on YouTube stuff that we may not be able to put out. We

Mike Failace:

could do deep stuff too. I mean, people only know me as the the idiot that sits here and interjects the jokes and everything else. I you know, I mean, I'm, I'm a deep person, I'm a I'm a real person. You know, I go through suffering every day. So if people want to ask me questions they want to send in questions on you know, I'm all about it.

Kevin Donaldson:

So before we leave, don't forget every week, you can always listen before you watch all of our audio episodes come out on Sunday on every major podcast platform. And Mike got any closing words for everybody on cancellations? Keep it topical.

Mike Failace:

And like I said, Listen. You gotta roll with the punches. You know, life isn't gonna be easy for you. Life throws your current life throws you a curveball.

Kevin Donaldson:

So we'll we'll we'll end it ended on that little ended on this one. So I used to do those little keep suffering. And I said in that one guy that won't get a lot of views that won't get a lot of views. It says what do you do when life throws you curveballs you learn to hit the fucking curveball. That's going to do it for this episode of the suffering podcast. And as always, let's think about all the stuff that we learned. Make the most out of time. legitimacy goes a long way. Trust your gut. But most importantly, improvise, adapt and overcome. That's going to do it for this episode. Don't forget to follow us on all social media tick tock Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. You can follow Mike at Mike underscore flays follow me a real Kevin Donaldson of course follow the suffering podcast, and we're gonna see you on the next episode of the suffering podcast.