Episode 77: The Suffering of a Reality Star with Kim D

Kim D has it all. A strong woman who may seem on outward appearances to have a storied life, has seen her share of Suffering. From the loss of the love of her life to losing all anonymity on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Kim has powered through it with her giant heart and no nonsense attitude.  Kim’s perspective on fame and the reality of reality TV is a refreshing look on how to deal with the hurdles that you have to jump over in life. This fun episode will fill you with a range of emotions to satisfy your thirst and take a look inside what it takes to be a reality star.

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Transcript

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Sit your ass down down sit your ass down down. Let's talk about suffering it's time to start Sit down sit your ass down this is gonna hurt let's talk about suffering suffering. It's time to start the pain, the pain. This is gone. It's time for the sufferings podcast podcast. The majority of us have a valuable gift that we don't even realize until it's gone. So I'm even strive to erase that gift, putting in so much work and time to ensure that it goes away. Often seeing this gift as a negative in their life. Once this gift is gone, it's extremely difficult to retrieve. I'm talking about the gift of anonymity. The antonym of anonymity is fame. I see many people who want to be famous. Very few want to be anonymous. Unless you've previously lost it is fame. all it's cracked up to be. I can go to the store the movies, a bar or restaurant. I'm left alone and given piece. I can imagine fame would be fun for a few months. But I also feel that it could get old very, very fast. I'm Kevin Donaldson here with Mike fleece. And on this episode of the suffering podcast, we welcome Kim Dae hai from The Real Housewives in New Jersey named Kim de now Kim D is somebody who really knows what it's like to lose their anonymity. Kim, thank you so much for coming in. This means a lot to us and very welcome. You become a very dear person to me. Oh, when you become a dear person, to me to Kevin, thank you for coming to my birthday. I'll just sit over here and say, dear to me eventually become. Your birthday party was a blast. It was fun. It was it was fun. But I peace out early. So everyone knows I come early IP Saturday. Kim is the queen of the FBI. I've never seen anybody. I always thought my dad was good at it. But I'd like him the best but I go by start out earlier than everyone else because I like to get home early. So it's just like, don't like you're leaving. Yeah. And you gotta have a couple of drinks before everybody gets it. I have at least one at least. Before we get into any of fun. Let's get into this week's social media question. As you can see, we are now on video. We're now on YouTube. I want to give a big shout out to Toyota of Hackensack for funding our studio time here. Listen, I buy my trucks from Toyota of Hackensack. Because as a police officer, I trust very few people. These people I can trust because they make it super easy. Just go go to them, Go to Toyota hackensack.com. Let them find a car for you. Real simple, real fast, real easy. This is this week's social media question was written to us by Mack. What one thing Have you done recently? That has made you a better person? Kim, you're our guest today. I'm going to throw this one off to you. Okay, well, this week, my son lost his keys to the house for probably 150 times. And I actually went to tennis hardware to make him another set of keys. That's the only really nice thing that I did all week. No, I'd been grouchy. But no, I'm a good dog, Mama. But you have seven dogs. And I just listened. I take care of my animals that comes first before anything. But I did go to the hardware store. And I did not pitch and I did the right thing. And I made a mistake is did you charge us on for I did not as a matter of fact, it is hardware said to me, you shouldn't be charging them the next time because I'm there all the time getting keys. But that's a really tough thing because you're mad at your son for doing that. Especially if he's done it. You're mad. And it's really difficult to turn around and change the way you feel about somebody to do something for the better. Good. So I actually I appreciate that. Yes. And it's something small. It was something small. But when you asked me that you asked me that question. Listen, I'm sure that I've done other things. Listen, I have things that I've been giving to people that need like at the television, I get all different things that I don't consider like that. Such a kind thing to do. That's just who I am. But the kindness was not ringing his neck and going down there and getting them excuse. What did you do? That was kind of I didn't throttle my son's neck. You know, really? I was losing his keys. He's 32 years old. Like what? When is it gonna end but anyway? Yeah, but he's a good kid. So he's a good kid. He's a good kid. Mike was at the birthday party that I was there. I didn't want you there. I purposely didn't invite it was it was an open invitation. As you could see Kim, Mike and I we go at each other a little bit, but he would secretly loves me. Oh. Kim is my new favorite. Go on her podcast. She put the two of us next year. I wonder which one you're gonna love it. So what uh, what do you think like one thing this week has made you a better person. I helped an old lady Oh street. Oh, stop it. You did not you pushed an old lady. What car? No, you know, I'm not. It's not all about the big things you do for people. I mean, I like I like that the the smaller things in life you know just know whether it's holding a door for someone or, you know I don't do much grocery shopping I'll go if I need something I go to the store so I can go to store five or six times a week. Help someone else at a car with their bags. Yeah, you know? How about letting someone go letting someone go into driving people driving like lunatics. I always stopped at you can go. That's why I leave the house five minutes early. Poor poor Andrew, our producer over here. He opens the studio up early because he knows I'm getting here. You need to know I was here early. Early. I'm always early or on time. I have to say something when you called Kevin before I'm like, she's gonna be late. Now she was right in the park. Right? I was in a parking lot. I think it's so impressive. So rude when people were like, Hi. So rude. For me, it's real simple. It's real simple. And I'll do this occasionally. And I'll do it. I don't want anything for it. I don't look for it. Years ago, I forgot my wallet. And all I wanted was a cup of coffee. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I gotta I can't buy this coffee. I don't have any money on me. I forgot my wallet. guy behind me goes don't worry about it. I got it. And I never forgot that. Right? Right. So occasionally would have done that to occasion you how many people wouldn't do that? They wouldn't spit on you if you're on fire. Exactly. Exact. It's one of my favorite things that Yeah, well, it's there's another way to say it. I know. I know. I know. But so occasionally what I'll do, and I did it this week. Somebody's in front of me. And I'm up at the coffee shop. I'm like, I got the coffee. And I don't know, whoever it is, whether it's a guy or girl, it doesn't matter. I don't know who it is. I just get into this this mood. And listen, it's $2 That's what I'm saying and what it's it's pay it forward. It's not gonna make or break it we say pay it forward all. So hopefully what I hope is somebody will do that for somebody else. You know, like we are nonprofit Dennett development project. So we sell challenge coins for a fundraiser. And challenge coins are cool. We got them sitting right up here. They're cool for people to hold on to. But what I really hope for challenge coins is you see somebody in need, who just the coins are there just to show you that somebody's got your back. You're not alone. Hey, maybe you'd give that to somebody who's nice as a reminder, say, hey, you know what? Today's not the day that I'm going to go through this crap. No, I like it. So like, Mac, thank you so much for sending that in. Keep sending in your questions. We'll get them on the air. Yeah. Kim, do you know where to start? I want to, I want to let you know I did my research. Okay. I actually watched a small, small portion be grudgingly as the Real Housewives. That was your good deed for the week. That was my good. There you go. There you go. That was tough. That was a lesson that was a lesson in brutality. I have seen you on the show before. You're not like not that. You're not like that. But let's start. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Give us a little background on yourself. Well, you know, I had a listen, I had a I think a really charmed life charm, childhood trauma, like we got into this a little bit before. And, you know, I'm grateful. I'm a grateful person. I'm a happy person. You don't really see me being angry or fighting with people, you really have to do something pretty bad for me to to fight with you. You have to draw first blood. And once you do that, you're going to be hit one time you're gonna go down, you're not going to get back up. That's the other side to me. So I've had a charmed, you know, childhood. I was at the Copacabana when I was six. I was you know, fabulous, wonderful vacations. You know, my, you know, my mom was married a few times what every one of them were fabulous men and they all had a lot of money and we had a great time. You know, my teenage years. My mom was not really a disciplinarian. We really did whatever I wanted to do, but I didn't really do anything wrong. You know, sometimes when you give people of course, back then when you give people freedom, they don't have to act out. So I was basically a good kid, good teenager, did a couple of things. drank a little too early. Um, but then, you know, I got married pretty young, had my son. I went through a few divorces myself. met I met someone that was the love of my life. My soulmate. I was with him for 13 years. He passed away 10 years ago this November, devastating for me, I'm sure. He was getting very sick. I don't want to discuss what kind of illness but it was self inflicted. I could say that. You know, it was self inflicted. It's a subject that we know all too well. There you go. So it was self inflicted. And I had a watch that which was difficult. And the year that that happened. I had gotten my biggest contract with New Jersey housewives. So he passes away on Sunday. Thanksgiving. My offer comes in on a Monday. As I declined the first offer, when the producers found out what had happened, they doubled the offered one day. That's smooth. So I took the offer. And so Sunday was his passing. Tuesday night I was filming at Capitol with Theresa Jude ice, she was getting an award. So you know, you know my life when I say Charmed, yet was very I feel it was charmed. There was a lot of losses in my life. My son lost his father at 11. I was divorced, but it was Major. For my son major for me, it's his father, you know, but I think I handle things differently. Like when people talk to me, I'm like, I'm different. I'm just different. You know, I can't explain it. I'm just different. The loss of your husband, would you consider that boyfriend up there to boyfriend and the less than my husband was? I was divorced. That was my son's father. So the loss of your boyfriend? Would you consider that your greatest sufferings? Yes. You really like? Besides my mom, you know, I mean, recently, but yeah, 11 years ago, I lost my mom. But September, so if I had to pick the greatest loss wouldn't be my mom. But the most tragic and the most suffering was losing Michael, I lost my mom. But she found her way back then. Tried to guess it didn't go out far enough. But so if I had to pick one, of course, losing your mother is the worst thing. But the suffering was losing Michael after being with him. He was my soulmate. So what how did you deal with those losses? Try to we try to give people tools on how to survive in this chaotic world we live in? What are some of the coping mechanisms that you used? Okay. Well, I would discuss earlier that I'm a very spiritual and a woman of faith. And I believe there's a better place. That's my belief, okay. So when I lost Michael, and I knew the place that he was in, I said, he's in a better place. And it's time for me to do what I need to do. And I'm very, so I'm very strong when it comes to death. Like, people break down people, like some people would say to me, Oh, my God, you know, I would be in bed for like, two weeks, and I don't have the luxury of being in bed for two weeks, nor do I want that. And really, what's that going to do for you? What's that going to do for you? So I'm just again, I'm gonna go back to I'm very different, and I'm strong. And that's why one told you that I would like to be a life coach. Okay. And, you know, I understand that people I'm very, like, I understand how people get weak, and how they want to crawl into bed. That's not the answer. The answer was I threw myself into the housewife show. I threw myself into the business. And to be honest with you, I bought myself another dog. I love animals. You know, that's what you gotta do. You're writing about myself and other people. You keep yourself busy to get your mind off of something like you said, if you stay in bed for a couple of years, go do nothing but fester. Deeper depression, you're not going to it's not going to cure your suffering. Definitely not. But it's going to help it along. Right. You know, I was recently reading a book then that said, successes is is brought from suffering. So great, so therefore Shouldn't we all be seeking suffering? That part I have a little problem with you don't seek suffering, but we don't have to run away from it either. No, we don't. We all suffer in one way. Or we don't skate none of us. First of all video, it's fine. It's fine the puppy up and twice when Michael died. I bought one and when my mom passed away, nothing gives you love like a puppy. Nothing can aggravate the hell out of you like a puppy. They're just you didn't name the dog after Michael No, I did not. Some people do stuff like that after the Bentley that was taken away from me so bad. Actually, I sold Bentley when I came pick you out the last time Yeah, yeah, I saw Bentley. Bentley's the little ones. Yep. Yeah. So so that's how I mentally handle the fact listen, I dealt with losing a Bentley. It's fine. They came and took it away from me. But I went and bought my dog and I named him Bentley. So mentally, I still had my bed that you know, so it was cute. But, you know, listen, none of us skate the suffering. None of us. Do. You need it. It's it's essential now. Then you get this contract. So you you you didn't have any downtime to really sit and think about it, which is a good thing, which is exactly. You know, they who was it? William Blake says The Busy Bee has no time for sorrow. So if you were to sit there and you didn't have all this stuff going on me it might have been a little different, but a very strong person and I don't doubt that would have been a lot worse. Yeah. And I say all the time in idle mind is the devil's playground. Yeah, you have too much downtime, you're gonna get in trouble. Definitely. You know, I just was thrown right into it. And the decision for the show was a very interesting one. Because I was doing a show and he did not want me on the show, but I chose to do it anyway. So every time he would see it be like she cheated on me like I cheated on him by doing the show. So what why didn't he Hate shout, why didn't because he didn't want me in the limelight. He didn't like what the show, the kind of show it was Real Housewives of New Jersey like your boyfriend, right? So he didn't like it. And then when he got sick, and it came to the point where they asked me, it was September to do the reunion, and you'll get more money for the reunion and I had some things that I'd had to straighten out on the reunion that happened that year. And he gave me an ultimatum, the ultimatum didn't come from him, it came from his illness. Either you do the reunion, or mate and contemplation was to do the reunion, because I'm just like, you know, I see his path. Even I love him, but he's not the same person that I fell in love with. And I have to do for me now. If I didn't do that reunion, I wouldn't have got that contract. And I wouldn't be sitting here with you guys talking about Kim D percent yet. I was on the show a little bit. But you have to make the same remember that that girl Kim. Yeah. So I made a major decision. And you know, so I made some again made some really tough decisions, you know, so, but you before that you had the clothing store. You had posh? I did. But that wasn't that, you know, wasn't So was that a labor of love? Or was that was a labor of love. But the show took it to another level? Well, that's what the show that's. That's what the show does for you. Of course, it's an international name. People from all over the world know about my posh fashion shows, they know about posh. I do memos and cameos from all over the world. So it was listen, if I would have said okay, fine. I'm not going to do it. He was gonna keep he passed away in November. This was September. What's What did you do those cameos? He was what's what's that? Like? I will I find it to be fun. I you know, it's happy birthday, happy anniversary, pep talks, this that you know, people that you're iconic. You're this shiny, nice underwear. You know, that's my, you know, well, I don't get that. I don't get that. But what I do do is a little skit for them. So I get a lot of a five star ratings. I talk about the show, and I talked about some of my funniest moments on the show. And then I do the clink link like what I did recently, and they just love it. And I kind of, you know, I feel I feel at the person, what I'm saying to them and see what they kind of what they would want to hear and what episodes are or what I did. And that's what they do you make them special, rather than just say happy birthday. Happy birthday, Joe. Yeah. Give me my cameo money, because you seem to stay relevant. I know. There's a lot of cast members who left the show, but you're the one that seems to stay relevant. And as recent as last night, that's like the opening of the housewives the first part of the reunion. They put my article Kim D says, and then the second one was Teresa and I in the in her truck talking. So I made the second part of the reunion. And then the third part of the reunion they showed me again. And then Andy Cohen came up with a question about me, which he always does. So yeah, I mean, I was a major question the week before they asked Melissa Gorga I had tweeted that Joe Gorka was a coward, because he had said yet some things that he didn't like, and I said some other choice words. He also called them a slumlord. At one point. Yes, I did. So Melissa, so the question that came in, like your other question is, Melissa, how do you feel about Kim D tweeting out that your husband was a coward? Well, to my surprise, the cameras go to Joe and Joe goes, I happen to love Kim day. Like, okay, that's not the way you were talking the week before. And then Melissa says, I happen to like Kim D two, and let's, let's face it, we're still saying her name and she's still relevant. So that was the week before the other question about my Instagram. Yeah, I hit him hard. So your Instagram as at Kim D posh, MD posh. Please follow it, please. And if you're looking for a good place to go out to eat, go to the grand saloon. 940 van mountain Avenue and Clifton. Nick over there to Grand saloon has always been so good. He's a big supporter of our show. I want everybody to follow them on Instagram. It's grant at Grand saloon and reach out to them go to the grand saloon.com For complete details. That's gra N d e s a l o n.com. I have a lot of good things about that place. Excellent karaoke, have karaoke. You see what I'm saying? I gotta go. I gotta go. Well, tell me when you're gonna go. I'll let you know. We're making a podcast night there. Absolutely. That would be so much fun. I want to say well, actually, you know what we're having. Our nonprofit is having a cigar night. They're coming up. I think it's June 11. June 11, which will be shortly after this. This airs. Chantelle will be there for Bella Donna cigars. Please let me know because I'm not good with dates. I would love to go to her birthday party too, but I wasn't invited through Well, I believe me I'll have plenty more. Listen, I'm just saying there was only good looking people there now. Well, yeah, that's listen they have to sign they have to send before you become a qmD friend or like a posh doll. I want to see your pick. churn, you're out. Now, you're out and I do have a window. Beautiful people that show up though. Listen, I'd like to dump me to the place down a little bit. You know, you get all the beautiful you gotta realize it. I make ugly people look beautiful. walking into a room the same way Don Rickles was was adorable. So when you're now let's talk about that show. And, you know, I'm a big believer in my anonymity. And my personal life stays personal. And this is, this is why we had you in here this what people don't understand you go and you put your yourself out there in the public spotlight. I gotta give it to you. Because I don't know whether I could do it. I've been around famous people. I've been around you. I like to go eat dinner, and be left alone. And I don't like that people come up and bother. That's got to be tough, especially like mid bite. Yeah, sometimes it is. Like I told Kevin before that, like, if you're eating and they'll wait for you to kind of be done or they'll like walk up to you. And it's one thing to ask for one picture. But I've been asked by because you know, with social media, they're taking selfies and oh, this I don't like this one. Can we take another one? It can finally you're like, Listen, you took four. I'm sure you could find one that you like, I'm not even asking how I looked. You know what any. So it can be, you know, a hassle, although I am humbled by it. And it's lovely. And it's wonderful that people like I can't even believe I was in New Hope. I went to see John boy young, and people were walking through. It's raining, snowing, and we're walking through the town trying to get to the car. And people are banging on the windows. They were sitting saying, Could you take a picture with me? And I was like, I can't believe it. I just visit so it's humbling. But yeah, like freezing out, want to get to my car. But I took a picture because I know you're a real person. Like I know you're not a phony. I know you're a real person. And you know, the times you with your mother's house, let's say for instance, you have real person problems, just like problems. And I think there's certain people out there that can't separate. There's the Real Housewives and then there's Kim de payola. Right. So I don't understand that that lifestyle. And in my opening you talk, I talk about the loss of anonymity because it's a gift. Absolutely. Do you ever longed for come back? Well, you know, I really, people don't know too much about me, which is very interesting. And that's why I'm writing the book. That's, that's how I got the book. I put my life with the big boys. They said to Joe, I play with the big boys. So my life with the big boys. They know Kim from the show. Yes, Kim D from the show. They don't really, really know, Kim, they really don't. And that's how I did a couple podcasts through COVID. Because that's how all these podcasts. So now, when people are they're like, Wait, why? She did what she was with who she knows. And that's when all these publishers came at me. They're like, You need to write a book about this. Because no one knows anything about you. You have. Isn't that weird? You have a very powerful tool right now. Because when the book comes out, they're like, Wow, okay, let me yeah, see what's going on. It's going to be a lot of fun for that. And of course, then it's going to be crazy after that. But I don't mind because you know, what, my, my solitude, very important to me. I'm at home, alone, my son's in and out. You know, with my seven dogs, I spent a lot of time home, in my solitude. I go out once or twice a week. So when I go out, I don't mind it. Because I'm not like out running around. I don't have to work really anymore. You know, semi retired. So they want a couple of pictures they can? Well, when your book does come out, make sure you give me a copy. In a place of promise. I guess you're gonna go on to the book signing tour. Absolutely. I looking forward to that. That's what I understand. books are books, you don't really make money. It's the after science of it. Yes. It's more to get your name out there and look at it that way. But how have you been able to keep I don't even watch the show. And I know everything about the gorgeous, you know, so how are you able to keep this stuff in a fear? Respect? Fear. Should we should we be worried? No. i This is listen. I really believe that I'm not sitting here saying this for no reason. It really puzzles me. But, you know, people are a little afraid of me. And I don't know why maybe they're afraid that they've seen my retaliation tactics. I'm not violence in any way shape or form. I'm not you know, but they see that you know, I can you find out a little just first of all, there's no real dirt. About me. My life was good at a good life. But um, I think people are like, not like even Dolores Catania, on the show. She's the first one so she's never gonna say anything about Kim. Like, there's no way and we're good friends when she says that as a friend who, if she was asked to I'm not going to get to him, just not doing it. So I'm going to be honest and say it's a little fear a little respect a little both. So that's one thing you said today that gets me and that's what about the show. She wouldn't say anything bad if she asked you to like the producers. Go do. But you know, you could still say no, they tried to push me to do a few things. The night that I got the contract when Michael passed. I'm there with Theresa. We were very good friends. And she was getting very big award. What she did on oh my god, I can't think of the name of the show. I won't even say who the head of the show was. But anyway, she did something very nice for a young boy with kidney disease. And they were giving her award and they wanted me to sit at her table and say that Perez Hilton was saying her husband was cheating. I'm like, there is no chance, no chance in hell that I'm gonna say this at the table with him sitting there, or say this or that night. And they're tapped me on the shoulder. I'm like, or you can tap me all you want because that ain't happening. Well, I signed up. So I said, I've seen a couple episodes and some things come up at the most times. couple episodes. Almost. I wouldn't do like Superman. No, I'm not a super super fan. I did see Teresa flip the table though. Yeah. Was that scripted? It's good. No, it was not really showing that she had a few drinks that night. She gets very angry. She that's what I understand. You know, you can make a drink. You fool a cup. You'd feel a couple people up. Yeah. Next thing you know. They want you to drink. Well, every every one of those shows about drinking or was going to a party or they push the liquor down on it. The short the houses down the shore and they're all drinking and the guys are doing shots like crazy. I'd be on the floor. What do you do? So they're your shooting schedule. When you were on when you were a cast member, your shooting skills, you have to plan your life around the shooting schedule, you're done you when you sign that contract with them. And I was only a friend but I was full time. I was full time. You just sign up right away. You're done. It's like here you have me for the next four or five months. I had the flu. I got a flu shot, which I didn't want to get into my mother made me get I got the flu. It came to my house and masks to film when I had flu. Now how did that affect your business that take time away from your business? Now my business blew up? No, but I'm saying did it take you away from your business? Or do you have people where that was really? That was like secondary? I had somebody working with me, you know, so I was just like, listen, we filmed there. We filmed at the store. The girls would come on come in and really shop. Was it a means to an end though. I mean, you knew you knew your life was going to be interrupted. I'm sure you're very you're very smart woman right. But the long game posh smart. Yeah, it's a business. And I'd like to. When I was on Kevin, all we did was go for like you said we would go for dinners while the rest I had all the, like the concierge of RHA. I had older I would call the restaurants and say we're coming in, we're going to film your you're going to be on TV next season, and you're going to get all kinds of business. They would come our dinners. They would come lunches they would come to you. So we went out on a ball. I bring my friends I bring my mother. What's so bad about that? And I didn't mind the cameras. We should start a show reel podcast. There's a Pompton plains there you got everything comped yeah we get comped at Wendy's. Liquor Store we get a couple airplane bottles. The producers would call me they go Where are we going next? I swear and I'd be like we can go here we can there. They would even say we need a couple's night like a romantic night between Joe Judaize at the time and Teresa I set them up below Capriccio on route 10 They were like oh my god send them to the grand saloon while I would absolutely absolutely well you know there it's two different two different types of atmosphere atmosphere for a grand saloon is reality. Yeah. We did. We did. You know we do it all kinds of restaurants. It didn't was a bar there'd be restrooms we will they don't want just places like Capriccio they want it? What kinds of things do you see them they were they were national doing shots on a bus or you know gaining weight your while I watch if you eat now eaten dinner I'd have a salad with with king crab on top of it is saddled with a piece of fish. I mean, I've always watched these girls can go to town. But I watched I've seen some like I said I've seen a couple of them with the parties that the House has done a trip parties were crazy. Fully catered fully catered everywhere. Donut trucks, Candy troubles my sleeve trucks. But is there ever a time when it just got to be yes, I'm done. I don't want to do this enough stuff no more but you're in a contract. So I would back out of seats. I've been at I've been in we'd be filming and I thought I'd start hiding like I'd go in the back and I'd had like we've had like a function for Kim the Irish goodbye. Yeah. And I would like I couldn't swear but I would push myself out and then the producer would be like get in you're like oh yeah. And I'd be like you know I need a break. You know I just needed a break you need a moment you need a bomb it because sometimes the anxiety kicks in you know so yeah, it does get to you especially towards the end like in the beginning of the filming. You're all excited whether it's something new. What after like months of this And you know, they're calling you for every little thing like, you have to go to Teresa's house and I would bring it in, I brought my dog so the kids would play with the dog. And it would it did, it does get to you, when I'm sure it gets to these girls. I mean, they're getting paid big bucks. But it definitely gets you because you know, you never know what's gonna hit you. You're not on a show like this, where you're gonna have a nice conversation. You could walk into a hornet's nest, you never know. They're always looking for that next soundbite x, which is vastly different than the way we do things here. We're here to find out the things that you go through. Right? So somebody out there who may think differently of the housewives gonna wait, you know what Kim's real person's dreams a real person. But now I've been I've been the guest on certain shows. And Mike knows which one I'm talking about. In the middle, and I'm supposed to be talking about a police shooting. The guy asked me, So what do you think of Lebron James? What do you think about Black Lives Matter? And I'm brand new, like, I'm not new to the podcast world. But yeah, that's crazy. Might have been one of the first you did that was outside. Yeah, that was the first crack. We use looking for sound bite. Yeah, exactly what they're looking for. It really pissed me off. I don't blame you really, really pissed me off? I think one of them was in, you know, they put out the little sizzle clips and everything. He asked me what was it like carrying a gun? And I said, my exact terminology. Forgive my language. I said, Well, it's like having another dick. But and then I go on to say, but it's a huge responsibility. You find a huge, you find that out very quickly. And I never carried it off duty. Because of that reason. Well, guess which clip he used? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. cop says this thing. It's, yeah, I know. They're there. They have to sell a show. I know what Bravo is all about. If you look on all their shows. For him, when you sign up for this, you know, it says you can't say Oh, I didn't sign up for this. Yeah, you did. But then you have to temper who you are, don't you? I know. I know. You're always going to stay true to yourself and your personal life. But if you there are times where you want to go out and lay one on. Alright, you maybe want to pull some back. You can't do that. Because if you get fall down drunk guess what's going to be the next highlight reel on the show we I did get did not fall down. But we I got one night, where honestly, I thank God. I didn't do anything crazy. But I woke up the next day and go, What did I do? But honestly, because there was so many, it was at a house party. And there was so many drinks going around and it was mixed. Like we had a cosmopolitan, we had this we had that. So like I'm like, What the hell? The next day? Oh, cool. I'm calling everybody up like they go. No, you didn't do anything wrong. And we could tell you we're tipsy. But that night, the producer pushed me out into the middle of when they were making speeches. And it looked like I just jumped out and was like, hey, yeah, oh, yeah. So they do things like that to you too. But that night, oh my god, I woke up and I learned my lesson. I said, you do not do this ever again. Because you know, you're in the moment. And there's the cosmopolitans are coming around. And then so when you mix, I don't care. You know who you are, you're going to feel bad. Thank God, I didn't make fool of myself, because it would have been ugly. And when you start when you start drinking, sometimes you maybe forget the cameras on air and just start being yourself. Yeah, just do it. But if you're a good person, and that's you chances are you get drunk and I can happy. I'm happy but if you're an asshole, and you start drinking, oh, yeah, you're gonna be it's gonna come out. And I didn't ask all just said alcohol, right? Let's say instead of asshole just add alcohol. Right? That's actually very true. It's true. I know. Some of the women on there get caught up and I know some of the women put on for the show for the camera because it's a show and is there any specific incident where somebody just got caught up that you know of? Well, I'm gonna say I'm gonna go back to Teresa. She's not very bright. I call her Forrest Gump. I mean, I'm sorry. And I like I think Forrest Gump is was a great character. She gets caught up all the time. You know, she thinks they gave I think Bravo gave her too much pepper, which they don't usually do on these shows. They try to keep everyone equal. There's always one that stands out. And I see the progression. She doesn't it's she doesn't have to be pushed. So there's some kind of anger inside there. You have to be kind of an angry person to constantly want to be swearing at people and throwing things at people telling people to pull other people's hair, you know, so there's certain people that don't have to be pushed. And there's others that they tap on the back of the person's like, No, I don't want to do it. They go, we just gave you 1.2 million. You're going to do it and you lose a friend. There's friendships lost 30 families lost over this but then you you like you said even at those the shows that the one that you're watching the other day, oh, there were union reunion shows. I mean, they're they're at each other's throats. And she has a fun theme and these are people that we're all did like everybody on the show know each other. I mean, we're gonna love each other maybe some of them did in the beginning. Yes. When they first doing these shows it was real friendships, real family, whatever. Now see? New Jersey is hard to infiltrate. You can't these girls are not warm and fuzzy, you know? So they keep trying to bring on these new characters these new people it just doesn't work. Beverly Hills have like eight, New Jersey they the most they think they had was six I could be wrong, but it's very hard to get on the show. They're not warm and fuzzy girls and they're not women's women. You know? And I think that's these people that go out and cast this they know exactly what they're looking for. Exactly. Oh, of course. That's what they do for lunch. Today you're not looking for me. They're not looking for what and I didn't play ball was because you couldn't be real housewife Anyway, well, so I'm not gonna play ball Kevin. They're not gonna tell you what to do. If somebody pushed me out there and tried to make me look like a fool. I have a different way of dealing with things than say somebody that's always on camera. I don't give a shit if I'm on camera, because all I need to do is a petty disorderly or less than I still keep my pension right there you go. So I know this going in but I you know the so Kathy, what's cat Kelly? Well, Kelly, so her husband. The here's the weird connection I have with the Real Housewives her husband and one of the owner owners of a coffee shop in Roseland town. I used to work okay. So when Sandy hit and there was no gas, all the real housewives would come to this gas station. And I actually I'm sitting there talk, I was just out there working security. I'm sitting there talking to this woman, beautifully. Nice woman, little Butch, but very, very nice woman. And the owner comes out pulls his name he says Don't you know who this is? I'm like it's a woman waiting for kiss. She's no she's on The Real Housewives. It was Rosie Rosie. She's the one who beat me out on Instagram. Because Kevin Fowler. We need more Instagram followers. Candy posh. That's right. But she was a wonderful woman. So I started asking her because I was curious. I said I don't watch the show. But my wife is a die hard fan. And I even call my wife. I'm like, this is here. Who's Who's the booster Pachi girl to support you. And in the back. Rosie heard me. She just told us Rosie. Yeah, but she's very she's a sweetheart. She goes, Look, I don't want to be on the show. But there are certain causes that I champion that this show is going to give me the opportunity that I wouldn't be able to do on my own. Just like I know you're a businesswoman. I know you have your own personal interests. There's reasons why people get get themselves involved, right. But the average person wants to be famous and they don't know why they want bottom line is they don't want to be they don't know why they want to be famous. Listen, there was an interview just recently that I was watching between Theresa Judaize and I think the girl's name was Alessia from Miami. So two girls one just got married, and Teresa is getting married. Alessia I think set her up because let the lessee is very smart. So she says to Theresa, are you going to take his name because Theresa is getting married? Well, he told me that I should keep my name because I'm Theresa students, and that's how everyone knows me. Right. So Alessia hitter. Well, I'm very old fashion. And my husband wanted me to take his name. So I took his name. Like, it didn't matter to me that everyone knows me by this name. I'm in love with this man. I'm marrying him and he wants me to take his name. And I'm gonna take his name maiden name is Gorga. It's a no name, right? Well, Jude ice is her. Her married age name. This is what she everybody knows. Everybody knows her at Judaize. So she's going to keep that. Well, if fame wasn't the most important thing, and this is your love bubble. And you're you know, why don't you want to take his name, but he suggested she keeps her name because of her fame. Well, okay. There's all sorts of different types of fame. There's, there's fame from The Real Housewives. I remember speaking to a kid named Scott Wolf. He was an actor in the 90s from West Orange. Okay. And I said, So what's it like, you know, what's it like being imagined being wanted and adored and chased by every 14 year old girl on the planet? Because he was, yeah, early 20s. Like, tintype back, heartthrob. Oh, cute. Cue, but what type of fans are I guess you get mostly mostly females? No, no, no, I get both. You can't even imagine. Okay. And the gay community loved me. They you know, they liked strong women, you know what I'm saying? So, they love me. And now I get women and men all sorts of people big fan of the gay community. You know why? Because they're not after women. It's just there you go. But no, they just get a kick out of that. I just tell it like it is and and, you know, that might flamboyancy in a way. They love that. So and also, you know, a lot of my very dear friends and the person that I do that my podcast with David, John, Tiff, shout out, we do our podcast, which is on Patreon on Saturdays David and Kim D recap. So I don't know like they always wanted me to do appearances and gay bars and all that but I'm not about appearances because as you know, I go in early and leave early so by the time people would get there, I'd be gone. Actually, appearances are perfect because you're there for an hour and you won't be apathetic. They want you to start they want you to start at nine o'clock. But um, yes, you know, all I can do when Parents have my bed at 10 o'clock. That's exactly right. That's why sometimes they do the podcast from on my bed. But yeah, all sorts all different. And a lot of guys will come over they go, oh, you know, my wife loves me. Can I get a picture? Like Sure, sure. And then the wives go year, right? You know he like he watches you too. It's cute. You brought up something before you said Fear? Is there any fear of have like one of these stalker fans or anything like that. That's amazing that you brought this up. They had nothing to do with the show. Okay. But I met them, because that was on the show. And they came to my store. And they shocked two separate women that became friendly with them. And they came to me because I'm on the show. Okay, so that is a stalker because of the show. What happens is very long story, one guy gets involved. And then because I'm very good friends with him. One is accusing me of being with him. And the other one is mad because I didn't help her out when she was being accused. So I'm like, Listen, I don't get involved in these things, restraining orders. And all of a sudden, I'm getting in this has been going on I could talk about this, because we caught what I'm getting for the past seven months burner numbers coming in twice a week hitting me like you're this, you're that I mean, quite far away. She caught me New Year's Eve. Crazy, you know, talking about my mother who passed talking about my job talking about? Um, uh, you got to be kidding me. It took me up, it's very hard for you to get information on burner apps. It wasn't a burner phone to do. Both girls had burner apps on their phone. So we had subpoena California. And we caught one so far. And we're waiting, we'll know when two weeks for the second one, I guess they just want to be friends with you. And because I said no to what they wanted me to do, for two different reasons. Obviously, these girls are not right in their head, they come up, they came from it. And it's like latch ons, like the latch onto, oh, that's Kim D let's, let's go shopping her store, I could absolutely they think you have the secret sauce to fame and they want to get on. They want to get into there's built up their social media. And they did shop with me. And that's how I met them. But you know, it got really ugly. And you know, again, the wrong person to do it to because most people wouldn't be able to have the means. Or I don't even mean the money, the people that would be able to get the subpoenas to get them. It's very hard. So but we did, and it took me five or six months to get the information. But I was a dog with a bone. And so it was my attorney, I have two and two investigators. And they were like, well, we're not going to let this happen. They're gonna go down and we're gonna have them arrested. You're gonna sue them. And that's where we are right now. We're on our way for them to be arrested for what they did what they said. I'm not the first person either one of them still on the show. No inlife really endless. These burner numbers are really bad. They're really bad. Well, so I get it in this way. Like people know that I know you. Yeah, people know that. I know. Other other famous people. And I have their I have their numbers in my phone. And they will come out and ask me Hey, can you get me Kim DS phone can I call Kim day can I get Can you get her here? Can you do this here? I tell them all the time I said I don't do that right. I don't do it. I'm if it's a business opportunity story. This before we have this conversation, I would come to you and say Hey, Tim, I got this business opportunity. Here's your information. You choose what to do with it. My hands are off of it. Right I don't want to be although I kind of get caught up in it. But the thing is I like involves because you know the person and you've already dealt with them. So I'd want you involved. But yeah, this is the first time in my life that anything like this ever happened. Really? Like with Mike's phone? I actually write his number on the bed. Absolutely. Absolutely. On any bathroom you'll find for good to know for bedtime. When I saw just recently Yeah, like that one there you go for and you didn't call me for a good time for a good time for a good time. That's so funny. That's that's actually false advertisement. So but you know, do we go that's one part of being on the show. That look what happened to me just getting into like those opportunities when you were in Roseline. Did you ever did the sopranos ever film there? Yeah, a couple times. How many times when you're working at detail. Do you see these guys come in there? Oh, yeah. I call what I call the Guido tuxedo. Sergio zucchini, Sergio tacchini You like running suits? Hey, what's what's going on here? Happens all the time. Yeah, so I imagine there's there's hanging arounds when you film too. They know I'm sure you call up a place. There's Some waiter in the back, hey, Real Housewives 1,000% When you call up and making a, you know, make a reservation, now all of a sudden this guy is gonna happen many times. Hey, Kim, these coming in tonight, Kim DS coming in tonight, then all of a sudden places mop. Shoot that's happened to me. And you know, and I realized that I see it, you know, because I'm walking in there asking for pictures or whatever. And that's not a problem. I don't mind it. But when we used to film Oh, my God, I mean, for most people that own the rest of the call their family, their intimate friends, their good, you know, customers, so we didn't mind and we want the place to be filled up. So it was good, that those kinds of things don't bother me. But like I said, you know, it didn't come to my mind. You just don't want to look over your shoulder. Thank you. Yeah. So this didn't come to my mind until just now when you whatever you said triggered me. And just saying, Yeah, I mean, it could be an issue. Definitely. I mean, like I said, it's gotta be tough. One day, you're you're Kim D. Now you're on the show now your Kim D from The Real Housewives total life changing overnight overnight. That's gonna be wasn't pleasant. Because there was a few things that went down that when they they had said, the girls do interviews, and one of them had said something about me. Of course, that wasn't true. She was, you know, provoked. People would come to my store, open up the door, you're this you're that you're that? I'm like, why? You know, yeah, open up the door and say crazy things and slam the door. You know, and I'm like, Wait, so anybody else was like been like with it would have been crushed. The girl, the girl that worked for me, one of them's very sensitive. And she'd be like, on the internet. goldwork gotta keep with the things that they're saying. They go listen to me. It doesn't matter what they're saying. Let them keep saying as long as they're showing interest. Keep watching. I don't know, I just don't I it's a very foreign world to me. Again, somebody somebody comes into my store. And does that throw something at him? Well, you know, they didn't do it too often because I didn't throw something at him. But they were told right back what they were. And then word got out like stay with Mr. Welch. So when and I know when Teresa got out of prison. There's a there's a landscape supply. Right down the street from where she lives. I didn't actually I didn't know where she lived. I was taking a shortcut. I had picked up something. And I'm going back to my house. And I there's news vans everywhere. I mean, ever and it's a small street. You've been to her house right? Many times Kim, he was a Teresa stalker. She got out of jail. Look, I'm gonna go post her house with a load of mulch behind me. Yeah, I was gonna rebuild her bed for That's how much I love it. You did all the landscaping last year. Exactly. So I'm driving down the road and it's a small road anyway. I can hardly get through there. And I'm looking at the news bands. And then out of the corner my I see her get out of the car because you just gotten out. I see her get out of the corner like, wow, this really sucks. This really sucks because you got you got out of prison, which is not a proud moment. But it was probably really good for ratings. It was great. I mean, it was great for ratings and they put off the show until she got out of prison. He did not film. Did you talk to her? Were you friendly with her? I was friendly with her. Yes, I went to her house when she got out of prison. I bought her clothes from my store. We were friendly for a while. And then I was hearing different things through the grapevine that I didn't like and I kind of like pulled away because I did a lot I told her how to do her commissary money before she went in. I know how you know, you can set that up and everything. I help the girl I was a good friend. I wasn't there. Because of the show. I was a friend of truth. I didn't need her for the show. I didn't need her for money or to be famous or whatever. I was a good friend to her. But Teresa just she's a bit of a narcissist and she doesn't know how to be a true friend. Well, is that something that comes out over time? That narcissism once you're in front of the camera, you start believing your own press lo she definitely believes she stood up the other night when the union said Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all? Teresa Judaize. And she did the spin and we were like, did she just do? Wow, that's really pushing it. That's really pushing it, saying that her fiance's exes are coming out on his narcissism. Only because he's with the Teresa Judaize which is not true. Well, that's why I have my instagram at real Kevin Donaldson. There you go. Nobody mistakes are fake Kevin. That's what I was gonna do. When I got when Kevin told me to change my Instagram. I wanted to change it to the fake Kevin Donald. So you've got to get there. You gotta ride his coattails. Let's get to some of their heads. But I think deep down. Teresa's always had this issue, but you know, you gotta remember she sheds like one loss after another, it within family. Then she goes to jail. Then he goes to jail. And then she finds out the truth about his situation. What he was doing while she was in jail and before that, so she's a hard I personally think even though she's with this man that she's such I think she's a hardened person. Well, where's the redemption in it? Do you think that Teresa, you've you've been able you've been a rare one. Okay, where you've been able to stay be grounded throughout this whole experience where somebody say like Teresa and I don't know her and I'm speculating of course, has believed her own press. Do you think there's one day where she's somebody like her? Because I know there's plenty of them out there on the other shows. They're gonna wake up one day and say, You know what? This This isn't real. This this is not what I think it is now, not Teresa. Yeah, many people will. But not Teresa has gotten worse. You would think that she would have been humbled. She lost. I mean, her stuff her father in law died on her property that her mother passes away at a very young age. Okay, right after she has that. Then she loses her father. She goes to jail her husband got and then the father of her children gets deported. Like, be a little humble. You gotta be kidding me. But do you think that's really become her identity now? She's not. Like I said she's not Teresa Judaize she's the Teresa you think she ever Kim D one day and then you are Kim D from The Real Housewives. Exactly the same person and you could go back to being the old Kim de I am I was I don't think that Teresa is capable of that. No, no, she really believes when she stood up and said that she truly believed it. When when you do get back on the show, because they talk about you so much. I know you're gonna get back on the show. And keep saying that, if you ever need some grounding, a live call, I absolutely will. But that's never gonna happen. Listen, the person that I was with we he was our lifestyle was beyond what you can possibly imagine. It really was bigger than movie stars, more money and whatever. That wasn't the draw. Okay. But we did things that people can only dream of. And I stayed exactly the same. But what I did do was bring my friends along and brought my mother along and brought them on the jets and put them on the helicopters and brought them to the casinos and nama vacations, you know. And we would go out for dinner, we would go he'd make me sign all the bills, we'd go out for dinner. And I'd invite like, 20 people 12 And he just made you go Dutch, you know? Yeah, when I sign his credit card, not mine. But um, they listen to you, but they wouldn't get far in mind. But I never forgot. You know who I was like, I'm the same person and I don't understand. I just don't understand. You know how people can be like, it's not listening. We can understand what we are not we I've never hated anyone. I've never been jealous of anyone. So I don't understand hate and jealousy, because I never felt that you haven't known me long enough. I'm with you on that. I believe hate is a very, very, very strong word. I've literally only hated two people in my life. Two people and I can name them off the top of my head. I won't name them here because I don't want to get sued. Okay, but plus I'm sitting right here that's that's what I want happy if he said your name. Like, listen, he said it before. When he's breaking my chops or mate trying to make me laugh. Yeah, I've said it. So your book coming out. Let's let's get into your book. Let's get into the things that you're doing now. This is what you did. Right. And I'm still I still think you're not done with it because they mentioned you far too much. But let's talk about the new things you got going on. I know you do your fashion shows a three times a year. What's the next one is October and I want both of you to be there. It's not a women's fashion show. It's men and women. I'm not modeling anything. Unless you got underwear. I might have you like helped the girls, you know walk down the catwalk now with a lot of fun. I'm going to have photogra in October. So that's one of the things I'm plugging is October photogra posh fashion show. All right. Yeah. So we I want to put all these on our show notes when we air this over. Okay, I'll give you the date. I think it's the 12th It's Wednesday the 12th but all Yeah, well. We'll get that from you. I have my website. Okay that I work on my website posh by Kim date. That's where they can find buy my clothes and I still sell clothes. That's POS ch e i Kim D. I do the the recap podcast with David Niantic on Saturdays on Patreon. We're going to also do the recap from Beverly Hills, which is I have to watch that tonight when we're done here. Thank you for making that a little bit earlier. I am writing I have a publishing deal to write my book my life with the big boys. Which is is getting there. I fired my first ghostwriter. Well, I've seen some of your life from the past and it's amazing. You got to see some of the pictures that Kim's got from the Copa I mean, Jimmy duranie My father used to be a bouncer at the Copa back in the day. Yeah, so cool. He was he did security for Stevie Wonder, Jimmy Duranty. Okay, Tiny Tim, What's that movie Green Book. Tony. Tony lip was a was a bouncer at the maitre d becoming the maitre d afterwards he was about your first and they made a matrix, Tony munafo. So if you don't know who Tony lip is, I'll put it into terms. He was one of the gangsters and I can't remember his name on The Sopranos. That was Tony lips. And that movie wasn't to come out until his Dad What a great story. Oh, I love I loved that movie. It was a great story. The only neighbor restaurant you know Frank likes Tony Tony Lipson and Frank lakes. My father, my father knows Tony lip Are new Tony. He always says, oh, kids go to a restaurant. Let's go. It's very, very good. I gotta get in. And one of the one of these days, he made it to COVID, which is when they you know, because it was it's very small, bring your own. But um, yeah, so the book is going to be my next big thing. I've written a lot of it already. I fired my phone first ghost writer. And so someone else picked it up. So she's a little backed up. But I'm thinking the next time that housewives drops or HLN J, my book should be out. We should get at least a chapter out of that book. Oh, Annie. Oh, and my my wonderful time on the suffering podcast. It really changed my life made me a better person in my life with the big boys to my life with a small boy. And I even got one new Instagram follower. More than that, but um, you know, I just I don't know about like, when you even the first question, what you did? You know, I think when you don't think about like, what Mike said, that when the small things that will matter. I don't think about that. Like, I just do things from my heart. You know, I'm not out there, doing a ton of charities and all that because to be honest with you, I don't like crowds. And that's another reason why peace out earlier because I get a little anxious when there's crowds or whatever you want to do. I will give to Animal Rescue. I will rescue animals. That's really my thing. And I do want to own one someday that's my animal rescue I would love to be rescued seven dogs already. have with that is is I wouldn't want to give them any give any of them. Well, that's the problem with flustering and having. But you know, you have to look past that. Because there's so many of them that really need I mean, when you see what goes on in these places, and how many get euthanized, it breaks your heart. Yeah. You can't watch it hard to do that. Because we got a good friend of ours. Charlie says rally who takes in pit bulls. He was the owner of star the New York pit bulls shot in 2013. So he takes him in his girlfriend, Jen, that's a solo night, they take in pit bulls, and they find they foster them and then they they adopt them. And that's very tough, because you can't give them up. Can't give them up. I cried like a baby. I fostered two dogs that came from a family who lost their home. Really, they lost their home. And they couldn't keep the dogs. They had kids. It was wrong. So now I take the dogs. But I already had six at the time and there was two more and it was just my life was crazy at that time, and I just I can't keep these two. But I want to keep them together. And I wind up finding a wonderful, wonderful home for them. I cried for two weeks. It just I just can't do it. I can't visit the dogs afterwards. So I was I was freaked out. Where I didn't cry. Don't cry that much over people, right? No, neither do I. You know what I mean? You can't get me to cry over. I tell the story all the time. I lost my my first baby girl lay on my first yoga lab. 2019 cried like a baby. November 2019. She passes. I lose my father in January of 2020. I don't shed a tear. It's really scary. It's really scary. Don't say no. I know. I listen. I don't even want to go there with that because I'm kind of in that same realm of how I am when people pass and people that were close to me. But I watch a movie. And I say to people first they said if anything happens to an animal what? I don't want to watch this movie. I can't watch it. I refuse to watch a movie, especially with Oh, you gotta watch dogs like I'm not no chance I'm not watching and then they keep dying. And then No, it's not gonna happen. I gotta go over and over and lower kids Old Yeller. Oh, that was fine. Yeah, they made you watch that and thank God I didn't have to watch I was in St. Leo's they didn't make me watch that the kid has to go shoot the dog now listen, now. Now I always say one of the worst things a bitch parent that is the worst things that ever happened to me my law enforcement career was walking down the street and it was a little girl walking a dog that was way too big for dog broke away from her dog ran the street and got run over by a truck and trailer. Devastated little girl though Exactly. That's what the don't bother me. But that little girl just stand there look on her face. Of course. I mean, forget it. I mean, I just can't I won't even let my dogs out the front door. Okay, I have I have like limited town home and have the chicken wire. You know because the little dogs to come because in town so you're not really supposed to do all that. But anyway, did it. I'm out there like crazy person making sure that they're, I would freak out. The One jumped over the fence one time and I thought I was going to heart attack. You know, if I knew nothing else about you. And seriously, if I knew nothing else about you, your love for animals would make me like you. Without without a doubt because I've said this for years. I like animals way more than I like people. Hands down. You know what animals never going to turn and stab you in the back know that an animal is always gonna be loyal to jealousy and there's no hate. That's right. So problem is we can't get an animal on the podcast though. I was gonna bring posh posh. I was gonna bring her next time. I was gonna bring episode two. Yeah, well, I will. So Kim, we're coming to the end of this thing here and I ask all my guests the same question. You've lived this this very full Life and we only got into a small portion of it, you become a real housewife. You have a successful clothing business, you run fashion shows your love of animals. What do you think this? We've gone through some some really stuff that I wouldn't want to do. I'm telling you right now the suffering that you've gone through, I wouldn't want to do, what do you think it's taught you? Well, besides being stronger, which is amazing, um, I think, humility, and I think compassion for people. Because I was not the most compassionate person. I was empathetic. But I would be like, Oh, snap out of it. You know what I mean? So I think it taught me to be more logical about things because I used to fly by the seat of my pants. Okay, now I have now I think, I just didn't think it I just didn't think more. You know, I think that's what is I think it taught me a little humility. It took me a little bit compassion, to understand that just because I'm a certain way, doesn't mean everyone else has to be that way. You know, you're a self proclaimed different person. Yes, I am. And I was never a housewife. I was a friend of the housewives because believe me, your listeners will definitely tell you, Jim, whenever I was like, You're my favorite. I didn't notice there's guests. There's, I was a friend. I was. I was a paid friend. Yeah, but so but that's what didn't take long. And you know, and now recently, what happened with these two women? Um, you know, unfortunately, it taught me a little bit of you know, that I have to be wary, not fear. There's no fear, but a little weary. Like, I you know what, I'm dropped off at my house, and they can watch me go in. And I never had that kind of feeling before, you know, but because of the shop. Yeah. And because of who I am. Now, I have to be a little bit more careful, which I never thought that way. You gotta get eyes in the back of your head. Yeah. Kim, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a lot of fun. You're you you're quickly becoming one of my favorite people. And you're welcome back. Anytime, when you win the book, when your book comes out. You want to come back. You want to promote the book. But we'll we will always keep a special place here for that, or maybe before one of her her shows. Oh, you're you're coming in? Promote a show. Yeah, I would love to come in and promote the October show. Absolutely. 100%. Let's do this. Welcome here. And then I'll know more about the book. Why don't you give you a little synopsis, Mike and I always say this, when we bring people in here, we get to know them, we become vested in their stories. And they really do become family. And we do this out of 77 guests that we had on here. I probably keep in touch with 70 of them. That's wonderful. We always say like it or not, you become part of our dented family. Now it's really nice. And I definitely want to go to the grand saloon. So I want you to tell me when that's gonna be okay. You're gonna love it. Well, I will forget. I know we'll be on and that's it. I had a wonderful time. And I'll definitely talk about the book more because I'll be more into it. By then when I come to promote the fashion show. And don't forget everybody out there we have Bella dama cigars just go to Bella dama cigars.com Put in the suffering 10 for a special 10% Discount hit the grand saloon. Thank you Toyota of Hackensack. And thank you caffeine and water. And that's going to do it for this episode of the suffering podcast the suffering of a reality star with Kim Dae and let's think about all the stuff that we learned today. The Busy Bee has no time for sorrow, be a different person. Protect your anonymity. But most importantly, be strong. Be humble. Be compassionate very much. That's gonna do it for this episode. Thank you for joining us find very first our very first on video. Yeah, you were I know. I'm so excited about that. That's unlike find Kim at Kim D posh find Mike at Mike underscore Falaise. Find me at real Kevin Johnson of course, follow the suffering podcast. Find us on Spotify apple. Google was so be on all those platforms. But now, YouTube hit the bell. Like Subscribe. Thank you all. Have a good day.